Staying In Your Lane. Risk Versus Reward

Have you ever heard the expression "stay in your lane" at work or at home? The expression, for those that are not familiar with how it is used, refers to decision making and input about about various situations in your life and/or it can be about any opinion you may have about a certain topic. 

For example, in the education circle, if you are a teacher and a building decision is made, someone may say that you should “stay in your lane” and allow the building administration to make that decision. At a higher level within your company you may be encouraged to “stay in your lane” and keep that type of a decision to those that have the position to make the call.

As a parent, if you don’t like what you are seeing during your student-athlete’s sporting contest, you may want to share your opinion with the coaching staff. In this situation, you may want to “stay in your lane” and let the coaches coach and the parent parent.

Of course, this expression can be used thousands of times over. From parenting, to the way a grocery store is laid out, to decisions made at your place of employment, to everyday decision making under your own roof. Staying in your lane, however, is high risk versus high reward.

Ask yourself this question: How often do you “stay in your lane” where you work and live each day? Do you have an environment where it is encouraged to process, push back, offer input and give feedback to decisions that are made that have an impact to a greater audience? And, when you do offer feedback, solicited or not, how is that received by your colleagues or family?

Staying in your lane has both negative and positive connotations. Based on your answers to the questions above, you will know rather quickly whether or not you should stay the course (in your lane) or take the risk of stepping, or swerving (carefully) from side to side. 

Consider the following of high risk, high reward for staying in your lane versus not. Keep the following in mind as you consider whether or not you should offer input and step out of your lane: 

• Is your input necessary?
• What are you intentions? 
• Consider your approach. Ask for a conversation.
• Remember the goal in mind.
• You are part of the team. 
• Recognize that some decisions just need to be made.

There is no easy way to determine whether or not you should stay in your lane. Every situation presented will have its own response. If you read through this and realize you are always within your 12 feet and never cross over the dotted line (or worse, the lines where you work or live are double solid), you may want to take a step back and assess the very foundation of where it is you spend your days. 

In the end, it is the relationships you form that are essential and those will drive decisions within the organization. If you have not established trusting and purposeful interactions with those with whom you work and live with, whether or not you should stay in your lane is the least of your worries. 

Have critical conversations, build upon what you have and trust your instincts. If your work environment is anything like mine, you have powerful opportunities to grow collaboratively and with support. The team is the most powerful aspect of what we have. Believe in it, lean on it.

And finally, as you go into the second half of the school year have a goal of encouraging feedback and collaboration. And, take inventory of the relationships you have formed. Find balance on the road you are on going forward into the New Year. 

Collaborative Effort - 5 Qualities of an Impactful Meeting

Have you ever left a meeting where you were completely and positively energized from the work that was just accomplished?

As you think back to those meetings, were there any attributes that repeat themselves?

Many times we take the structure and the success (or failure) of a meeting for granted. Often times we give credit to one or two people (deservingly so) who organized the time together or we just assume that good leaders have good meetings.

While that may account for the success of some of these times we come together, there is more. Much more. Meetings that have us leaving with excitement and eagerness have a few (very) specific qualities in common.

In the last couple of weeks I have had the opportunity to be a part of a few different collaborations that were absolute game-changers. I left these conversations ready to take on the day and the week ahead. Hard to think that a "meeting" could be this energizing and exciting and leave the lasting impact that it did. In fact, they did just that.

Here is what made all the difference in each of these conversations:

Input for the agenda. Not to be taken for granted, asking for agenda items in advance goes along way with those in attendance. Not only would this upcoming time together be about what the leader felt significant for us to discuss, they also took the time to ask us what was important to share with the group. Call it buy-in or call it input, this is the epitome of being collaborative.

Respect the time. Too often we sit in meetings wishing it would be over so we could get back to the list of items awaiting us. Just like asking for our agenda input, our time was respected and it was shared up front how long we would be away from the building. This allows for a clear ending time so that others, including ourselves, would know when we would return.

Stay on task. Personally, this can be the most difficult attribute for me in many aspects of my day. I am the master of a tangent. In meetings, however, much like the ones of these past few weeks, the group understood the task at hand and stuck to the agenda. While mini-break-offs are one thing, sticking to the agenda is another layer of respecting the process.

When it fails, own it. While we would like to think that all meetings can go off without a hitch, it is unlikely to say the least. So in the event that things do get heated or opinions begin to splinter, be the one to take charge and own any missteps along the way. The best leaders own their mistakes. The even better ones own them in front of others.

Give praise. Recently I left a meeting that I was confident went rather well. What made that crystal clear was that before I even got out of the parking lot I found myself in a group text chat of gratitude. This made the time, energy and effort that much more worthwhile. While we don't do what we do for praise, it sure feels great when we get it. So, next time you have a chance to offer praise to a colleague, do so. It feels just as awesome to give praise as it does to receive it.

While the list could go on, these 5 qualities capture a few of my takeaways from my most recent experiences. Some of these meetings I was a guest and others I co-led. It takes commitment to ensure that time together is powerful and purposeful. The challenge has been placed in front of me. Continue to grow in how I lead others.

Building Relationships. Practical Ideas to Implement in the Classroom.

It all goes back to relationships!

Relationships are the essential element in our schools. The old adage, “Kids don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care,” is true especially in today’s society when kids are used to so much choice in their world. Also, in today’s busy world, it’s important for teachers and school staff to make positive connections with students. We must be intentional and taking time with these relationships must be purposeful.

Members of the Compelled Tribe have teamed up to share practical ways for educators to build relationships with students. As connected educators we also embrace the notion that it is the power of the team that drives much of what we do. How do you build relationships with those that you serve? See the list below for ideas to add to what you may be already doing in the buildings and districts in which you work.

1. Greet students at the door. Smile and call them by name. Tell them you are glad to see them.
2. Ask your students to share three things about themselves. Let them choose what they share. Keep them on index cards to help make connections throughout the year.
3. Know your students families. As important as it is to know the students, make the connection to home. Great relationships with your kids starts where they kick off their day. As the year continues and both the good and bad arise, having that connection will be crucial to getting the results you are seeking.
4. Journal writing is an activity to get to know your students well and give students a voice in the classroom.
5. Make positive phone calls home especially within the first two weeks of the school year.
6. Genius Hour/Passion Projects really give teachers an opportunity to learn about student passions.
7. Have kids make something that represents them out of Play-dough and share.
8. In the first couple of days of school, learn the first name of every student in your first class of the day, and something personal and unique about them that has nothing to do with your first class of the day.
9. Be vulnerable!  Let your guard down and show your students that you are a learner, you make mistakes, and persevere.  They will see you as a person, opening the door for a relationship built on trust. Share stories about yourself as a learner or challenges you’ve faced when you were there age and help them see what it took to overcome it. It’s easy to forget how much a simple connection can make the difference.
10. Eat together.  Have breakfast with a small group of kids or join them at the lunch table.  Gathering around meal time provides an informal way to have conversations and get to know your students.
11. Hold Monday morning meetings (We call them “Weekend News Updates”).  Ask each student to share about their weekend - good or bad.  Ask questions.  Be sure to share about your weekend too!  Occasionally bring in breakfast or make hot chocolate.
12. Laugh with them. Frequently. Show them that school, and your class, is just not about learning stuff. It is about sharing an experience. Tell them you missed them if they were out.
13. Keep in touch with past students.  Show past students that you do not have a 1 year contract with them.  The ongoing relationship will also model to your current students the value of a positive classroom community.
14. At the elementary level -- hold morning meeting everyday as a class and stick to the routine of greeting, sharing, team building activity, and morning message.  This is a sacred time to build and maintain a culture of risk tasking and building relationships.
15. Send positive postcards home to every child. Have them address it on the first day of the quarter, keep them and challenge yourself to find at least one thing each quarter to celebrate about your students, let them and their parents know.
16. Find their interests and what motivates them! Sometimes it may take a bit to break down barriers and build trust, but through being genuine and authentic with them this will happen in no time.
17. Make personal phone calls to parents. Find one good thing to say about the children in your class.  It can be how they contributed to a class discussion or how well mannered they are in class or in the halls. For older students it can be how diligent a student is at learning challenging content.
18. Share something about yourself that they will find relevant or interesting to extend your relationships with students.
19. Tell a story from a time you were their age. This approach allows students to see teachers as they once were and make connections easier to establish and maintain.
20. Create a unique handshake or symbol for each of your students.  Use it when you greet them at the door or say goodbye.
21. Eat lunch with a group of kids throughout the week. They will enjoy a time dedicated just to them. (And you will enjoy a peaceful lunch!)
22. As a school, hold monthly celebrations to recognize students and educators their accomplishments.
23. Take pictures with students. Print. Write a special note on the back to the student.
24. At the end of a term or year, write a thank you to students telling them what you have learned from them. Be specific and honest - authenticity goes a long way. Try to make the note handwritten if possible, but email works well too.
25. Each day write two students a personal  note about something that you have noticed about them.  Go into some detail and be specific. Keep track of who you reach out to over the year and try and reach as many students as you can. The time you spend doing this will deepen connections and pay off 10 fold.
26. Have dance parties! It is so fun to let loose and get down with students. Students love seeing you have fun with them, and the saying goes, “The class that dances together, stays together”.
27. Play with students at recess or during a free time. Climb the monkey bars, play kickball, or tag. Students will never forget you connecting with them on the playground.
28. Hang out in the hall to give high fives or to have quick conversations with students. Relationship-building can be squeezed into any time of the day.
29. Notice students having a bad day. Ask questions without prying. Show that you care. Follow up the next day, week, etc.
30. When a student is having a rough day, ask if he/she has eaten. We are all more unreasonable when we are hungry. Keep a supply of snacks on hand (ex: breakfast bars, crackers, etc).
31. Go see students at their events: sports, theater, dance, volunteering. Meet parents and families.
32. When a student stops to say “Hello” and has a friend in tow, introduce yourself and be sure that the guest feels important.
33. Stop class from time to time with a comment such as, “Hey, everyone, Katie just asked me a great question. I think you’ll all benefit from this. Katie, could you repeat that for everyone?”
34. Sing “Happy Birthday” to students; send birthday emails (I use “Boomerang” to schedule my birthday emails each month).
35. Say “I missed you yesterday” when a student has been absent. Be sincere.
36. We have to make time to grow relationships with our students. This time can not always be in a planner or a calendar. Sometimes, this simply means just being there for your students.
37. Mail them a postcard for their birthday. They are always amazed to receive personal mail!
38. In a leadership position, learn as many names as you can. Greet students by their name as often as you are able.
39. Music! Bond with your students over music. Play soft classical music while they are working. Incorporate music/songs into special events or lessons.
40. Classroom: Start a compliment jar. Share comments at the end of class or randomly throughout the day. School: Do shout-outs during morning (or afternoon) announcements/news show.
41. Smile and make eye contact.  “Good morning”, “Good afternoon”.  Something as simple as a greeting in the hall with smile and eye contact conveys both warmth & safety.  Try it tomorrow.  
42. First day of math class have them choose 10 numbers that are significant to them (3 for number of cats, 1 for brothers, 20 for number of hours they work, etc.).  Everyone shares out.  You will learn lots about all your students in one day.  
43. Cut them some slack every now and then.  “What were you doing?  What should you have been doing?  Can you do that for me next time?”  We all make mistakes.  
44. Hold class celebrations and have students develop unique cheers for various accomplishments...these can be anything from a sports team victory, to being selected for something, to earning a grade, and they need not be school related.
45. Allen Mendler’s 2x10 strategy for challenging students. Spend 2 minutes per day for 10 consecutive days talking to a student about something not academic.
46. Share your own goals, successes/failures. Don’t be a mystery to your students.
47. After morning announcements have students participate in a daily discussion question.  Have a student read the question and set a timer for two and a half minutes.  Each person turns to a partner and answers the question then volunteers share with the whole class.  Each question, in some way, will help you get to know your students.
48. Halfway through the year, have your parents and students fill out a feedback form.  In my classroom, these forms look different.  Allow them to evaluate you so you can keep what works and change things that aren’t working.
49. In your summer introduction letter, include a letter asking parents to write about their children in 1,000,000 words or less.  Keep the assignment voluntary and open so they tell you what is most important to them.
50. Don’t be too busy to truly listen.  Listen to understand, not to respond.  Are you starting a lesson when a student interrupts and tells you they are moving?  Take the minute to hear them out.  That time will mean more to the student than the first minute of the lesson ever will.
51. When students get stuck in class, teach the other students to cheer them on.  We do a simple, “Come on, [Name], you can do it,” followed by three seconds of clapping.
52. Teach students call and responses to uplift each other.  When a student responds with something profound and someone loves it, that student gets to start the cheer.
53. When you check in with groups to give them feedback or see how it’s going, make sure you are seeing them eye-to-eye.  If they’re sitting, don’t stand.  Pull up a chair next to them.  If they’re sitting on the floor, sit down on the floor next to them to avoid standing over them.
54. Give honest feedback even when it may not be positive.  Your students will appreciate that you expect more out of them than they’re showing.
55. Create a “You Matter” wall.  Take fun pictures of each of your students.  Print each photo and put each student’s photo in an 8x10 frame.  Hang them all on your wall under a “You Matter” heading.  At the end of the year, send the photos home with students.
56. Tell them what was hard for you when you went through school and how you worked to overcome the challenges.  It shows they aren’t the only ones who struggle.
57. Defend your students in front of other people.
58. Take risks so students feel comfortable doing the same.  Don’t ask them to do anything you wouldn’t do.
59. Create something that is unique to your class.  For us, it’s a house competition.  It’s something that connects my past students and current students.  It’s also a family bond that only the students who have been in my class understand.
60. Apologize when you make a mistake.
61. Cook together and then you can eat family style in the classroom. Some fun and easy crockpot meals: applesauce, vegetable soup, chicken and dumplings. Then, make cupcakes for dessert!
62. Every so often, take the pulse of your building according to students. Convene a volunteer roundtable with student reps from various groups (athletes, scholars, quiet, loud) and ask them for critical feedback about topics you are working on. Some ideas I’ve seen discussed in this format include schoolwide incentives (assemblies, sledding event, etc.), dress code, and discussing recess options for winter.
63. During your informal walk throughs, saddle up right next to students and ask them the purpose of the lesson they are involved in. Why do you think the teacher is asking you to work on this? You’ll be more than surprised with the honest feedback.
64. Bring board games back! Add a few games like Checkers, Uno or Chess to your lunch table options. See if any students are willing to play a game or two with you and others.
65. Use sidewalk chalk to decorate the entry of your building with positive messages to students. Have teachers help you write and draw the notes!
66. Leave nice notes on post-its for students on the outside of their lockers. Recruit other students to help spread the kindness throughout many lockers!
67. Forgive them when they make mistakes. Remind them that mistakes are opportunities for learning. Don’t hold grudges against misbehavior and don’t allow other adults to hold them either.
68. Make time for dismissal. Tell them you can’t wait to see them tomorrow and share high fives on the way out!
69. Notice which students still don’t have money to pay for lunch. Help them out when you can. Treat them to a snack they don’t usually get to purchase at lunch time.
70. Find special projects that need to be done around school and recruit the most unlikely helpers.
71. Remind your students you and your staff were all kids once too. Have your team bring in pictures of themselves as children (at the ages you have in your school). Post them and have a contest allowing students to guess which teacher is which. Those 80s pictures are the most popular!
72. My favorite question to ask my students or any student I come in contact with is what are you into lately? This opens communication with your students and let's them know you are interested.
73. Allow students to do a job shadow. Give them a peek into what you do and how you make daily decisions.
74. Host an ice cream social for students that meet certain goals.

The list will grow as our experiences and our connections grow. Feel free to reach out to any of the Tribe members listed below to learn more about the power of our team and how our tribe constantly supports each other in our teaching, leading and learning.

Compelled Tribe Contributors:

Jennifer Hogan, The Compelled Educator  @Jennifer_Hogan

Jonathon Wennstrom, Spark of Learning  @jon_wennstrom

Craig Vroom, Fueling Education, @Vroom6

Allyson Apsey, Serendipity in Education, @allysonapsey

Sandy King Inspiring The Light @sandeeteach

Gary Kidd Reflections and Rants from the Asst Principal, @hinotewailer

Jacie Maslyk   http://jaciemaslyk.blogspot.com/    @DrJacieMaslyk

Jodie Pierpoint  Journey In Learning @jodiepierpoint  

Jim Cordery   Mr. Cordery’s Blog  @jcordery

Allie Bond   The Positive Teacher @Abond013

Angie Murphy ConnectED to Learning @RoyalMurph_RRMS

Karen Wood https://karenwoodedu.wordpress.com/ @karenwoodedu

Lindsey Bohler lindseybohler.com @Lindsey_Bohler

Starr Sackstein http://blogs.edweek.org/teachers/work_in_progress/ @MsSackstein

Debbie Campbell The Curious Educator @DebraLCamp

Michael McDonough M Squared at the Microphone @m_squaredBHS

Barbara Kurtz bkurtzteachermentor.blogspot.com @BJKURTZ

Stephanie Jacobs www.thisblogiswhy.blogspot.com @MsClassNSession

Michael Todd Clinton Motivated teacher blog  @MotivatedThe

Cathy Jacobs https://cathyjacobs.org/ @cathyjacobs5

Reed Gillespie Mr. Gillespie’s Office @rggillespie

Molly Babcock Sweet Tea and a Live Oak Tree @MollyBabcock

Lisa Meade Reflections @LisaMeade23

So Much to Learn

Later this week I head off to Boston to present at the November Learning, Building Learning Communities Conference on the invitation from Alan November. This is an amazing opportunity to share with a fresh audience of educators about my passion for teaching and learning.

I often ask myself how I have ended up in the place that I have. A kid growing up in upstate New York and having attended a small university in Ohio, I feel like I have finally found myself as an educator. I take great pride in being fully invested in my school community and that is essential for me. Also, I am fortunate to work in the school district that I do that not only embraces innovation, it demands it.

The reality is, however, I made some significant errors along the way to get where I am today. In fact, for a period of time I felt like I had mastered the art of "failing forward". Without that period in my life, however, I would not be heading off on a jet plane this morning to connect with passionate educators from across the globe to share my story.

My learning has been powerful. My story is about how I picked myself up, recognized my errors, accepted my need for growth and how I bought into the notion that I needed to increase my own learning which in turn would evolve me into a better practitioner, a better leader and a better person.

Keep the following in mind as you fail forward:

1. Embrace the uncomfortable. Just 4 years ago I was having some tough conversations with my colleagues about my direction in this field. While in my seat in, I sat and squirmed and felt like the walls were closing in. Those were some rough days in my journey. My decision that day was a simple one. Instead of running from this tough moment, I embraced it. I looked it dead in the eyes and demanded more of myself. The growth began immediately.

2. Own it. When failing forward the hardest part of the process is to own the errors. If your colleagues, community or even harder to accept your superiors are giving you the impression that you are losing your way, you can respond in one of two ways. My advice is simple. Own that there are improvements to be made and commit to seeing it through. The sooner you own it, the quicker the path to success.

3. Let down your guard. Too often when we fail we build up a wall of trust, or lack there of. That is natural and instinctive. As hard as it is, try not to leave that wall up. You can't get better on your own just as you didn't fail forward on your own. No, you were not pushed. However, at some point others may have stepped away on your journey. I understand being cautious just don't be resistant. Allow others to be a part of your improvements.

4. Have a plan. Now that you are owning your errors, moving forward to being a better educator and embracing the reality of your situation, make sure to know the direction you are heading. For me I had to reach out to my most trusted colleagues and friends. I owned my missteps and dove in to seeing my improvement. I created a plan, set some goals and put my eyes forward to the potential that was there to be had. For me, the plan is what made all the difference. Going in blindly just leads to more failing. Having a plan is essential.

I am not finished with my journey in teaching and learning and especially leading. I have more to do and there is a passion within me to share my story with each of you. We are unique. Our paths in life are independent of each other. However, at the end of the day, we have one goal in common. Simply, we want to be better today than we were yesterday. There is so much to learn.

You Can't Fake It

Either you lead or you don't. At the end of the day, you can't pretend and you can't fake it. People are looking toward you with all that they've got. They have chosen this profession to make a difference. The last thing they need is someone with a title that can't make a decision for the sake of the organization. Educators need a leader who can be honest and transparent and a leader that embraces all that comes with the role.

Leadership is an art. It takes more than just a few courses at the local university or through an online class or two. It is not for the faint of heart and it is not intended to be a responsibility that just gets you on more notch in the belt. If you want to be any good at this thing called leadership, then you should consider the following:

Get Off the Fence. For every book I have read, meeting I have attended or conversation I have been exposed to, one sure way to find a leader that has their head in the wrong place is one that can't make up their mind. Yes, there are times for pause, for reflection and for ensuring you are doing what's best for kids and your community. However, when push comes to shove leaders have to know when to get off the fence and make a decision. Due diligence is one thing. Procrastination is another.

Follow Your Gut. Leaders have been given hours of upon hours of life experiences in the real world. We don't get these positions lightly. Believe it or not, whether you want to or not, someone actually looked at you, handed you the keys to that building and said something along the lines of, "You'll be great. Now go lead your staff and students to do amazing things!" Now that you have that shiny key and walk those academic halls, remember that the thing on your shoulders and that pit in your stomach actually can go hand-in-hand. Follow your gut and do what's best for kids, for your staff and for your community. It's not always going to be easy, but it will always be worth it.

Surround Yourself With Really Smart People. We have all heard the expression in regards to "the smartest person in the room is the room". Well, if that is the case then I will darn well make it a priority to surround myself with super smart people when it comes to teaching and learning. They will be at the door, peering in the windows and clamoring on the roof. Many of us fall under the umbrella of "jack of all trades and a master of none". My honesty puts me there. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I would like to think that knowing this is half the battle. At the end of the day, I find those that are not only smart at what they do but also a compliment to how I lead. Too many of the same minds leads to little progress. Get out of your comfort zone and find others that will help you be a better leader yourself.

Give Credit Where Credit Is Due. Truth - most of the really great things that I do in my leadership role in my building I had very little to do with when it comes to the inception. Truth - most of us get our ideas from the endless amount of resources in this global, digital age. If you come across a great idea or concept and want to implement it in your own institution, do us all a favor and let us know where the idea came from. As a leader who depends on trust and honesty, don't get caught with your pants down when a colleague learns that your "brain child" of an activity or lesson really came from someone up the street or across the globe.

Be a Closer. If there is one thing I have learned on this leadership journey it is that you have to close on your ideas and your desire to lead others. Charm and charisma works for a while. However, when the smile no longer does the trick and the handshakes have worn out their welcome you had better be able to close when it comes to all things in leading others. Holding others accountable, being transparent with your staff and being committed to your community are just a few examples of how you can close in on your relationships with others. Build the connections and do the right thing(s).

When it comes to leadership, you need to be "all-in" or you need to get all-out. The reality is that when push comes to shove and teachers are in the trenches or administrators are in the buildings you need more than just a shiny key to the front doors in order for others to believe in you and buy in to you. If you can't lead in a way that does so, move over, let someone else give it a go. and as always be truthful with yourself and don't fake it.